We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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