She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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