you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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