so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
either way he was missing a nipple.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
