dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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