Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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