I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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