oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
