SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
