An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
