Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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