So drunk its hurt
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
