I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
