did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
