i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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