I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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