I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
