kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
