worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
