I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
