Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
