I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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