I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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