god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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