The maid of honor just puked.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
