The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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