apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
