We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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