i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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