so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
