Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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