Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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