Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
