I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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