Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
hell yes lets make some ravioli
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
