Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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