So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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