I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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