Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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