i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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