He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
