that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
