I wish I could teleport
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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