Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Green mimosas i think yes
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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