I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
