A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
