I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
