i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
