and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
