I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
