Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
